Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I hate shopping.

I am not at all a shopping freak. I am shopping sick. Being a shop phobic and a bachelor living away from home, sometimes makes life difficult. Especially when there is an acute need of something and you have to buy it. If you are pretty clear on what you have to buy, things are easy. Like, buying a razor, damn easy! You know what brand and what type you want. So just go to any shop which is selling razor, give your specifications, get it, pay the amount specified in MRP and storm out, you are free again! But… what if you want to buy, say shoes?

This happened with me year ago. After looking at pathetic condition of my shoes I decided to buy a new one. I was aware that buying a shoe was a big deal, Firstly you have to pre decide what type of shoe you want. “Black, formal shoe”, this was a simple specification I told to my self. I have seen guys who end up buying something very different than what they have decided, it’s ridiculous. I hate being flexible, (only when shopping is concerned) firstly it wastes time. My mom, like any other lady spends hours in a shop even if she has nothing in her mind to purchase. Secondly it wastes money. I remember one incident when I was with my mom and dad at nashik. We were actually leaving nashik, en route we stopped at one place. My dad had some task to do, so he asked us to wait in car. But it was my dad’s bad luck that day. He unknowingly, rather innocently, parked it at place which was near to a Crockery exhibition. My mom decided to just ‘stroll’ in that exhibition and ended up shopping Rs. 10000 worth of crockery. I am sure my dad would have preferred to skip his task, however important, had he was aware of my mom’s intentions in advance. Well another thing I just hate about shopping is bargaining. Why the hell shopkeepers charge more so that a person bargains and brings the price down by almost 75%!! Yes, it happened, I was shocked when I went to purchase wallet with my friend. Shopkeeper quoted its price to 150 and my friend asked it for 30 Rs!! “Hey dude there should be some limit to bargain, let that poor guy earn something”, this words went in my mind, but to my horror that deal was closed on 40 Rs!! There should be a law, some figure, indicating the profit that a shopkeeper should get on item, and every item should have an MRP, bargaining must be outlawed. I was telling you how I purchased a shoe. With all these things (bargaining and stuff) in mind I decided to take Rohit, my college friend and colleague, with me. We went to a Metro outlet on FC Rd (Pune). And we were out in 5 minutes. No selection, No bargaining. To my despair rohit too turned out to be a shopping sick. I felt guilty as we didn’t do bargaining. “75%!! Ok, at least 25%, I would have got those shoes much cheaper”.
Also, bargaining requires much patience. Last monsoon I decided to buy a wind cheater, “big decision”. I decided to ask Joe’s help (Joe (cyclo) is my IIM friend.) for bargaining purpose, “wise decision”. We went to one shop at MG Rd (pune), I selected one wind cheater, joe took over rest of the proceedings. I faintly remember that price of that jacket was quoted at 900. “400”, joe bargained. “Nahi sahib nahi parwadta”(I cannot afford it, Sir) shop guy shot back. Lately that guy agreed at 500, I was jumping on my feats, ready to shell out 500 bucks for that jacket. 400 Rs was big bargain. “400 theek hai, de rahe ho to bolo”(400 bucks final, tell me if u r ready), joe said. No one was ready to move ahead and I lost the chance to buy that jacket. I purchased my jacket from FC Rd when monsoon was almost over, No selection No bargaining. :(


Recently I purchased a bike (Bajaj pulsar 150). I went to showroom with Rohit. After verifying all documents, I was asked to make the payment. Once that was over, showroom guy asked us to go backside to select bike. All of a sudden we were in a pulsar farm with so many bikes to choose from. Big, never imagined, question was “How to select a bike???” I looked at rohit’s face and then towards farm. During my previous purchase (shoes... remember) I got good experience about rohit’s knowledge of selection and all. I didn’t want to take any chances this time. I decided to call Virus. I don’t remember exact conversation with him but it went something like this:

Me: Viraj, abhi mai showroom me hu, aur mujhe bike select karne ko kaha gaya hai.
(Viraj, right now I am in showroom, and i have been asked to select bike!)
Virus: Sahi!!! Sab paper work ho gaya kya?
(Cool!! did u complete all paper work?)
Me: Ha, payment bhi clear ho gaya, now I have to select bike.
(Yes, even payments are cleared, now i have to select bike)
Virus: Sahi!!!
(Cool)
Me: Abbe locha ye hai ki bike select kaise karte hai?? Kuch tips de na.
(Dude, problem is how to select bike, give me some tips)
Virus: [laughing and then sounding like expert] Abbe no big deal, Akkad Bakkad Bombay bo kar!!!
(No big deal man, just do enki pinki ponki !!!)

I was about to consider his option when showroom guy dropped in. “Bhaiyaa, ye bike kaise select karte hai?” (Hey, tell me how do we select bike?). I asked. He smiled at us and explained that there is no difference in bikes and that I can select any of it. However he led us to a lot that was newly arrived. “Saheb ye naya lot hai, ismese select karo.”(Choose among these, they are from newer lot). I zeroed on two black pulsar bikes. “Abhi in dono me se kaunsa??”(Now which among the two??). I asked to myself. All of a sudden a ‘dumb shopper’ Rohit became ‘super, expirenced biker’ Rohit (so what if he doesn’t know how to ride bike). He started knocking petrol tanks, twisting accelators, studying bikes in various viewing angels. “Ye select kar” (select this), he declared, “numerology ke hisab se ye wali bike achhi hai.”(according to numerology this is the perfect bike). “How?” I made a sarcastic reply. “Iske chassis no. ka summation 1 hota hai aur teri birth date ka summation bhi 1 hota hai.” (Chassis number summation is 1 and your birthdate's summation is also 1). He had a point, (my b’date is 3/6/1981, so 3+6+1+9+8+1 = 28, 2+8 = 10, 1+0 = 1. I don’t remember chassis number but its summation was also 1). I had no clue which to select, so I went for the bike suggested by rohit. (When I got the delivery of bike, I found that my bike number was also 217, I mean 2+1+7=10, 1+0=1 :) ).

This is story till now. After living so many years away from home, I still have fear of shopping. I just hate that like anything. All purchases of my clothes is outsourced to my mom, and by any chance you are a girl and my prospective life partner, this work will be given to you! So be aware :)

6 comments:

Sudeep said...

I think all guys r not into shopping.. i mean who wants to waste 3-4 hrs on some silly things

u got a new bike? Party kab de rahe ho... or a test ride on the new black alloy wheels :)

ur mom bought 10k stuff in a stroll? whoa!! thts huge...

Mayur Thakare said...

to sudeep: You can take ride n e time u want.

"10K in stroll" Yes, It actually happened!!

Sudeep said...

danke sir.. will do so soon :)

Ajay said...

>>>Virus: [laughing and then sounding like expert] Abbe no big deal, Akkad Bakkad Bombay bo kar!!!

Haa ha ha Sahi funda hai selection ka :))

>>>I found that my bike number was also 217, I mean 2+1+7=10, 1+0=1 :) ).

lucky U !!

Anonymous said...

Hola Senor!
interesting blog you have put up man! Shopping and bargaining are both things which you learn from experience. please do not misinterpret this and go out shopping with a girl even by mistake. If its inevitable you cant help but feel sorry for yourself.

And i really liked the idea of putting in a small matrimonial requirement so very discreetly at the end of the blog....:) Niiice

rock on man....

Sudeep said...

oye update ya will have to tag u again